You & I
by Aeyria
Summary: The tears I shed at night won't stop. How can I live without you? I can't erase you from my memory. Can we turn back the time?


**You & I**

**A/N: Hi again. I'm posting all these one-shots I wrote on the 17th of July randomly and out of the order I wrote them. Well... Happy Birthday, Taemin (Lead Dancer From SHINee)! Yeah, I know his birthday is on the 18th, but in the US, it would be the 17th when they're celebrating it. ^^ -Sigh- But now he's 5 years older than me yet again. I just had to type that somewhere. And it's going to be on this fic. CC: By the way, this is yet ANOTHER sad fic. :DD The only fic that isn't sad that I wrote is Hoot, but it's kinda abstract. T^T Whatever, here's the fic, You & I. No, it's not Park Bom's _You & I_, but the rookie group Boyfriend. w They're my new bias every since SHINee went on a 10 month hiatus from making a new song (Excluding Japanese versions of their songs). I love the Jo Twins! Okay, yeah, enough of my babbling. I need to release my love for K-Pop somewhere. But I found out not many of my readers read my Author's Notes, so everything ends well. :o) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan! Gosho Aoyama does! I don't own the song You & I or Boyfriend. Nor to I belong in Starship Entertainment. But I would like to go to one of Boyfriend's concerts, but I'm not living in Asia currently. ;^; On with the story!**

**(Conan's POV)**

I was given the antidote by Haibara one night suddenly. She said that she had the antidote ready for quite a while, but wanted to test it on some rats several times to make sure it will 100% work. Even with the Black Organization still out lurking in the shadows, she said that I should use it when I felt like I had enough information about them and was brave enough to actually confront them again. Jumping with joy with the thought of going back to Ran, I didn't notice her eyes darken when she saw me celebrate. After about five minutes of my joyous celebration parade around the house, I finally came to my senses. Then I voiced aloud what was on my mind.

"Haibara, are you going to be taking the antidote, too?" I questioned, clearly curious.

"I really shouldn't tell you. You would rage about my decision," Haibara whispered out quietly, her back toward me.

"Come on, Haibara," I ushered her to finish, not sensing the dark atmosphere, "It's just a simple yes or no."

She turned around slowly, eyes looking glossy, "If you want to know so much. There wasn't enough ingredients to make another antidote. Not that I would mind. I'm going to be leaving Japan to continue studying about the Black Organization elsewhere, but staying as my shrunken self. This way, I can relive my childhood I never had. Then I won't intrude on your relationship with Mouri-san." And she went out of the room before I get to object with a startled, "What?"

When I tried following her to convince her to stay, saying I needed her help here and not somewhere else, she kept ignoring me. Hopeless, I ran to Hakase to tell him about the news. Hakase said he knew about the plan for a few weeks already. Softly, he commented, "Shinichi, it's Ai-kun choice. We can't control her anymore."

After that statement, all of my emotions suddenly deflated. I kept repeating the line Hakase told me, trying to accept it. That one line kept replaying in my head, even when I went to sleep later that night. The next morning, the first thing I could remember was that I had the antidote, but before I could smile, the other thoughts rushed back to me. Frantic, I dressed quickly to go to Hakase's. When I arrived, he was wearing a sad smile, and in that instant, I knew she left already.

Since then, I've been trying to forget about her. I never took the antidote because it felt like it would be mocking her that she worked so hard for just one antidote. She didn't even have one for herself! But at every attempt to erase her from my mind, my mind latched on harder not to let those memories with her go. It wasn't until a month after she left that I finally accepted that I had fallen for her when during the I wasn't with Ran. All this time, I was oblivious about my feelings. She left me, thinking that we were just friends. I know we can't go on since she left. If I was brave, I would go search for her, but... If I found her, what would I say? Drag her by the hand and say, "Let's go?"

Whenever I close my eyes and open them, I see she's not there. When I realize that every time I wake up, I hate it. I know we parted ways for several weeks already, but I really hate this reality we have. All the tears I shed at night won't stop since the day I finally accepted her as gone, my heart traveling with her. I didn't know that my heart went with her, until the emptiness kept haunting me. How can I live without her? I can't erase her from my memory. I tried endlessly to wash her rare smiles away from my mind. Can we turn back time? So then I can fix my mistakes? It's not possible to undo something that's already happened, but I kept thinking that this is just "You and I."

We cannot part ways. I can't give up on trying to find her. How could we let this happen? Does she also feel the same way about me? Is that why she left? Because she saw how elated I was with the idea to be with Ran again? Whatever the memories say, it's all sad.

Inseparable, the places where the two of us were together. All those crime scenes when she were there. I never paid much attention to it, but she helps me a lot. She actually supports me to solving these mysteries. She actually knew how much I wanted to find the criminal and bring justice.

Everything would be normal now... If I had taken the antidote and returned to Ran. But the guilt caused by her leaving led me to stay shrunken. I can't end it like this. With her not knowing how I feel, the world just doesn't seem right. I just can't let her go. We were meant to be. Can't she see that? All those times with the run-ins with the Black Organization, she were always there, trying to sacrifice her life so I could stay alive. The moment she started ignoring me, it felt horrible, even though I didn't know my true feelings that time. She's my destiny, no matter how stupid that sounds.

I wish this was all a sad melody, but it's not. I want to show her the love I have for her. But she's hidden somewhere in the world that I have no clue about. She didn't even mention to Hakase where she was going.

I keep pleading to myself if it was possible to turn back time. Then I could fix all my mistakes I have made. I feel emptiness and hollow without her here. I try not to give up, but all I see around me is a fog of hopelessness. I can't give up. But what if I don't give up? I find her, but discovers she doesn't have the same feelings for me? That would be worse than living without her. All these memories are too sad. I know it's already too late. Too late to make a change. Too late to tell her and confess. I have no hope for this relationship anymore. Even with her gone, I'm still going to imagine us with an inseparable friendship. So, at least, I won't feel like I'm stumbling off a cliff into despair.

"I really miss you. I miss you my love."

"I really want you back. I don't have your love."

"I really love you. I love you."

Our relationship can't be helped anymore. It'll just stay as friends until I tell her the truth. If I ever find her. Will I? In this hopeless state, I have mountains of doubt.

"You and I. I wish that was true. All these memories are sad. Can't you return, even if it's the briefest time, just so I can tell you that I love you?"

**A/N: Awwwww, dang it! All these one-shots aren't making sense anymore! Only B2ST's songs seem to work! But I couldn't let Boyfriend's other song slip from my grasp to make a fic about it. -Sigh- I'm sorry that my stories are _crap_ now. I'm surprised I was even called a good author by some people. I'm sorry I lost that title by making these one-shots. Just so you guys now, I have two other one-shots right now in my archives. One is sad, it's called Take Care Of My Girlfriend. The other one is romance/general, which is called Hoot. There's another song by Boyfriend called Boyfriend, and it's so sweet and cute! . Reminds me of Replay by SHINee, so I'm going to be trying to fit that song with this pairing. **

**~Krystal, signing out~ **

**Edit: LOL. My one-shots are failing now! xDD;; Yay~ I scared everyone away from my writing every since I discontinued Evening Rain and Stay By My Side. Awesome~ Now people won't say how sucky I write. 8DD **


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